m aur meri soch

                                         m aur   meri soch              

 

     jivan m aadami kya sochta h aur kya hota h.mene kabhi nhi socha tha jindgi itne rang dikhayegi m.aj subh jab neend khuli to kuch ajib sa laga phir yaad aaya k mera ghar to ab badal gaya h jis ghar ko m itne pyar s sajaya karti thi jisme mere jivan ak ak bohot bada part juda h wo kaha mera tha ab to yahi mera ghar h.gadi m time dekha to 7 baje chuke the muje 9 baje office jana tha.kuch samaj nhi aa raha tha apne room s bahar aai to dekha mere jasi bohot s log yaha the.kyo log apno ko oldays house m chode jate h mera yaha pehla din tha ak aurat mere liye chay leker aai unhe yaha sub shanti aunty kahte the.wo mujse kuch kahna chahti thi m muskurai mene kaha boliye kya pouchna h .beti tum itni kam umar m yaha tum to bus 45 ki ho .tum yaha kaise kya batati unhe .......
mene muskura ker kaha bus ap hi ki tarah m jaldi jaldi taiyaar ho kar office jivan kya hai .
k liye nikle gai shaam ko loti to apne ghar ki bohot yaad aai muje yaad h jab sanjay s meri shadi hui thi papa n 17 saal ki umar m sanjay s maeri shadi kar di thi sanjay militry m the muje bohot pasand the.shadi k baad sanjay muje bohot khush rakhte the unhone muje aage padhne s kabhi nhi roka.hmesha mera utsaha badhaya saal bhar baad vivek paida hua mera beta.sanjy army m the to wo bohot dino m ghar aate the m aur vivek dono hi rahate the mene vivek ko bhi sambhala 19 saal ki thi vivek 2 saal ka tha m use bhi sambhalti aur padhai bhi karti.jab sanjay k aane ka hota to m ghar ko khub sajati wo jitne din rehte muje bohot pyaar kerte unke jaane k baad m aur vivek akele rah jaate.
m apne room k alwa kahi nhi soti muje kabhi dusri jagah neend nhi aati par aj....m 28 saal ki umar m ak govt job m lag gai tab vivek 12 saal ka tha .ak din m sanjay ko phone kar rahi thi phone nhi lag raha tha man pereshaan tha tabhi darwaje par ganti baji ak sipahi sanjay ka saman le kar khada tha aur kaha sahab ab kabhi nhi aayege wo desh k liye.....

m tut kar bikhre gai ab tak muje sanjay ka hi to sahara tha ab 28 saal ki umar m bilku akele rah gai thi par muje apne bete k khatir sambhlna tha ab s m uski maa aur papa dono thi mene use kabhi uske papa ki kami mahsus nhi hone di.use bada kiya is bich meri jindgi m kahi utaar chadhaw aaye par bete k khatir mene apne liye kabhi kuch nhi socha.waqt gujarta gaya jab m 38 saal ki hui 10saal baad beta 22 saal ka ho gaya bilkul jawan wo muje apni sabse achi dost manta tha mere s har baat shere karta tha.wo muje maa kam dost jyada manta tha.apni maa uske liye uske jivan ka adarsh thi. kahi bar kahta maa tum itni kubsurat aj bhi ho tumne shadi kyo nhi ki .m use kahti tu mera beta mere liye sub kuch h.
vivek 27 saal ka ho gaya ak kamyab doctor h nmrata uski wife h.muje yaad h jab nmrata ko mene vivek k liye pasand kiya tha tab wo kitna khush tha ivek n kaha shadi k 1 saal baad vivek n kaha maa muje hospital dalne k liye paiso ki jarurat h makaan bechna padega.pr hum rahege kaha nmrata boli hmne naya flat book kiya h wahi baki paiso s hospital dal jayega m taiyaar ho gayi...
hum flat m chale gaye kuch din aaram se gujare phir un dono m roj jagda hone laga .maa ko yaha s bhejo m unke saath arjest nhi hoga.mene vivek s kaha tu muje oldays house chode de par maa tum old kaha ho.mene kaha mera office waha s pass h tu mujse milne aa jana.mene apna saman pack kiya aur vivek muje chode gaya ab to wo mera phone bhi nhi uthata h har waqt busy aata h.milne bhi nhi aata aj 1 mahina ho gaya 1 din m gai thi use milne to namrta n gate khole bahar s hi kaha maa wo so rahe h baad m aana phir bhi jid kar m andar chali aai .vivek t.v dekh raha tha usne kaha aao maa.phir use dekh kar m lot aai usne muje roka nhi y bhi nhi kaha maa m chode dunga mene cab mangai aur m chal di.....
muje akdam dhyaan aaya achanak m y kya sochne lagi ho.tabhi darwaje par ak car aaker ruki usme s ak person bahar nikle are y to amit h.amit bhi muje dekh ker choke gaye tum yaha  m use kya jawab deti sanjay k jaane k baad amit n muje bohot help ki uske bina shyaad makele itna safar tay nhi kar paati ak din amit n muje shadi k liye purpose kiya kaha m vivek ko bhi apna lunga per mene apne bete ki khatir use saare rishte tod liye aur aaj...achank amit ki awaz mere kano maai tum yaha kaise.maine kaha pehle tum batao usne kaha apna dard kam karne m aksar yaaha aata hu sabse baat kar akela pan dur ho jaata h tumne shadi nhi ki.amit bola ise dil m tumhare siwa koi nhi.
jab use mere baare m pata chala to usne mere maathe ko chumte hue kaha meri duniya m chalo wo tumhare bina khali h tumne apne sare farz nibhaye aur m ak nayi soch k saath ak naye rishte m bandh gayi pata nhi m sahi hu ya galat ap apni ray jarur de kya mene sahi kiya........

aur m ak nayi soch k saath naye rishte m bandh gai.